I get that boys and girls are wired differently. I get that typically boys enjoy a little rougher play, can be a bit more rambunctious, and have more energy to burn. I am not making a blanket statement for all boys, nor am I excluding girls. But I am so tired of hearing mothers with aggressive boys say, “He’s such a boy” or “boys will be boys”. Why am I bringing this up you ask? Because my child was a victim of a boy being “such a boy” today and I am so mad that the mother of Mr. bully just shrugs it off like it’s just a boy thing.

Here’s the scenario:

Our playgroup was at Burger King this afternoon and all the kids were playing in the play structure. Ava managed to get pretty high up but then found herself unable to go any further. She was scared to go up and scared to come down. She began calling for me. Keep in mind that this playplace looks as though it was purposely designed to keep parents out. The only way up is to weave between staggered triangles 2 feet apart. Being 30 weeks pregnant I did not feel it was in my best interest to climb up to Ava so instead I tried coaching her from below. Ava was still stuck when Mr. Bully came up behind her. He wanted to go up, she wasn’t moving. Being a child of few words, he began pounding her repeatedly in the head. Ava began to cry. I took my big basketball tummy and slid between the triangles to get to Ava as quickly as I could. The other moms began calling out to me asking if I should be doing this. Did I have a choice? Of course I was going up there! Ava was so upset asking why he hit her. I figured mr. bully just didn’t have the words he needed to say excuse me so he chose to hit instead.

Ava kept her distance from mr. bully but eventually their paths crossed. Ava was not in his way, she didn’t even look at him when he went running by, but for some reason he stopped in his tracks at the sight of her and began punching her in the head AGAIN! I don’t mean a hit and then he runs away. I mean he just stands there pounding on her over and over. I was livid!! I called out his name telling him to stop as I awkwardly made my way up again. He ran away just as I got to Ava who was sobbing. She has never been put in this situation. She didn’t understand and she didn’t know what to do. She looked at me with huge tears rolling down her cheeks asking what she should do, I told her to hit him back. Her eyes widened. She said, “I’m not going to hit him. That’s mean.” I don’t usually advocate hitting, but for the purpose of self-defense, I am certainly not against it. Not really knowing if she would understand the difference I attempted to explain when hitting was okay and when it’s not okay. She seemed to understand, but still insisted that she was not going to hit him. I suggested telling him to stop, or running away. Even after all of this, mr. b’s mom didn’t do anything. Ava still wanted to play. I wanted to leave but didn’t feel Ava should be punished for someone else’s behavior.

Mr. b tried to get her one last time but this time they were down low and Mama bear (that’s me!) was right there before he could even throw one punch! His mom finally intervened, but then just looked at me apologetically and said, “he’s all boy”. give me a break! He can still learn right from wrong!